Girl Takes “Selfie”; Becomes Kinky & Popular

OMAHA, NEBRASKA

When her journey began 6 months ago, Kelly Buchanan* never imagined she would wind up being both “kinky” and “popular,” but voters on Fetlife, the “Facebook for Kinky People,” have apparently awarded Kelly, who goes by the online moniker “2Cute4U,” the dual honor on its “Kinky & Popular” award page.

“I was astonished,” Buchanan told sixth of a dozen reporters who assembled for her press conference at the Omaha Starbucks.  “I never imagined flashing my tits in the bathroom mirror and taking a picture with my iPhone would ever result in me being singled out on an International web site.”

The picture, which garnered 2700 “loves” within 24 hours, shows a topless Buchanan making a “duck face” in her bathroom mirror, holding her iPhone.

“My friend Genie said I should do a full on pussy shot with a dildo stuck in my ass, but I believed in my community.  I knew tits in the bathroom mirror was the right choice.  You can’t question your artistic instincts.  When you do you end up shooting rope pictures and then people get really angry.”

When questioned about her future goals Buchanan hinted that there might be some crotch shots in her future.  “I’d do a full on spread pussy thing if it was part of someone’s artistic vision.  Or if they, like, paid me, or something.  But mostly I am just happy with tit shots.  I’ve thought about nipple clamps too.  They have those in 50 Shades of Grey, so that would be super kinky.”

When asked about the messy state of her bathroom, she rolled her eyes and told reporters simply “it’s about the tits, not about the bathroom.”

Her new stardom has come with a price.  “There have been a ton of friend requests and quite a few emails,” she said, “and some of the emails are from guys looking for sex.  I am all about a relationship at this point in my life.  I am going to be 19 in a few months.  It is time to find the right guy.”

* This site is a parody/humor site.  In no way should anyone infer that Kelly Buchanan is a real person who lives at 432 W. Highland St. Omaha NE 86109. Calling her at 531-976-8821 will result in a wrong number.  And her social security number is not, and has never been, 507-234-7765.