YUNT, OHIO
Researchers at the University of Southern Ohio have completed a survey of the world’s kinkiest professions. Many of the sciences ranked highly, but none quite as high as mechanical engineering. According to study author Ben J. Grant, Professor of Sexual History and USO, engineers are “by and large some kinky motherfuckers” who exhibit generally subpar social skills, but excel at many of the technical aspects required for BDSM play.
Closely behind Engineering were English and Comparative Literature, each receiving high marks for fetishism, bondage, and gender play, while Biologists and Chemist ranked highest in impact play.
Perhaps most surprising in the survey were the rankings for historians who, according to Grant, have “remarkably boring sex live” and “engage in almost no kink whatsoever.”
Grant’s partner, Kelly McQuint, 32, confirmed Grant’s findings. “I don’t even get laid, much less tied up or spanked.”